Theres so much meaning to life.. Just look a little deeper

Taking things for granted is something many of us do without even noticing until it is spoken up. I myself have come to realize that I was taking my boyfriend for granted. I have always wanted someone who would accept me flaws and all and when I finally got that, I had no clue what to do with it. My boyfriend is one of the most amazing men I have ever met. From him fighting and gaining full custody of his four year old daughter, to coming into a relationship with me and taking on my three year old son as if he was his own. I myself am a very complicated person, I am very emotional and stubborn. But no matter what my attitude is he doesn't ever turn his back on me. Im just not use to people being so nice to me, so when I get it I push you away without even realizing the harm that I am causing. Once he had informed me of the pain I have caused him by shutting myself off to him. I had to step back and realize, I have some one amazing here and I need to realize it before I loose it and regret it. They always say you don't know you have a good thing until its gone, but I know what I have and there is no way Im letting him go.

There are many things that I am so grateful for, for instance my family and having a healthy son ad even the fact that I have a roof over my head. Life is so important to me, and I tend to realize that they're are people around the world that are not able to have the things that I am blessed with so to me I am honestly thankful for everything. From my refrigerator being filled with food to being able to take a hot shower. Or even just coming home to sit on my couch in peace and quiet. Im also very thankful for my family, they are my rock. Growing up my mother always taught to me to just be grateful for the life we are given. Because there's always someone who is less fortunate, life is not measured by the things you have but by the moments and the people you spend them with. Im also to have a great-grandfather that is still living and healthy even at the age of 91. Hes such an important person to me. Ive also mentioned it a lot but im grateful for my little three year old son.

I believe that as a mother, I can step back and relax and just enjoy my child being a child. Instead of worrying about the mess he's making I should sometimes just relax and let him enjoy himself. Many time I find myself getting frustrated, but then there's days that I just sit and do whatever he wants me to do with him and the excitement in his face explains it all. A busy mom isn't a fun mom. I think a fun mother is someone who acts like a kid once in awhile an have fun with the children. The appreciate it more and those are the memories that they can look back on and ones we can always remember.

 

My son

Kissing your soft face

Reaching down to hold your hand

Best part of my day

 

Winter

Naked lonely trees

Freezing howling chilly breeze

Beautiful winter

 

Spring

Flowers are blooming

Weather is getting warmer

Spirits are higher

 

Rain

The day is darker

The sky is opening up

The rain is falling

 

Love

Your smile makes me warm

Your laughter keeps me happy

No greater feeling

 

 

Being a mom, is the best job there is

My weeks are always adventurous seeing that I am currently staying at home with two three year olds. My days consist of meltdowns spills and very highly anticipated naptimes. But there also joy, where I get random hugs big kisses on my foreheads and made up songs randomly sang to much. When I decided to take a break from home to raise my son and take on my three year old step daughter full time, I thought after awhile I would loose my mind. But I realized its so worth it.

Before I would wake up and rush my son to work, where I worked 8 hours so I wasn't really seeing him and was missing out a lot on special moments. Now I get woken up to kisses and morning cuddles. There's nothing like snuggling under a blanket with your little one tucked right under you. The beginning of this week we decided to just stay in our pjs all day watch cartoons and just relax. I can honestly say its so relaxing. Hearing kids run around just having fun with out a care in the world is just relaxing. No job to me could ever replace this. The second half of the week we had a few adventures. One day we enjoyed the haunted happenings in Salem, and another day we had lunch and spent FOUR hours just hanging at the park. Nothing like enjoying the day and having to rush no where. During the end of the week the kids enjoyed some lunch and shopping with me and my boyfriend. Its always nice to spoil them once in while. That's the whole point of being a parent.

The weekend was very busy for us. On Saturday night my sons dog got loose, we was all heartbroken. He got out at about seven at night and we searched until about ten but had no luck. So it was a long night and Sunday was a long day. By Monday morning my son refused to talk to me and was slamming doors telling me how mad he was. But with luck he was found. When we went to pick him up, my sons excited brought tears to my eyes watching him jump and scream "Charlie" and telling everyone its his dog just made my day better.

 

 

When I stop and notice and I cant help to watch the things you do,
like when you get excited to wear you blue shark boots.
Or your face when you walk in the Disney store,
and get to pick out your own new car toy.
The excitement in your face when you see me every morning
or when we just lay and bed and feel like being boring.
When I stop and notice I see the love you have for me,
your smile when we drive the car and sing our abcs.
The hugs you give me when im feeling sad,
and how you make you crazy faces whenever you know you make me mad.
Everyday is a new lesson taught,
being a mother is an excited job, even though its harder than I thought.
Little do you know you've changed my life,
You've came into my world and now everything just seems right.
Ive noticed the change you've brought out in me.
Such a positive person now and many people can see.
When I stop and notice, I see how much I need you,
you are the reason I want to do everything I do.
Ive come to notice each day I love you more and more.
Even though it sounds crazy its true.
When I stop and notice I realize I couldn't love anyone more than I do you.

A beautiful blessing in disguise

Growing up I had always said I didn't plan on having children until I was at least thirty, but once I hit twenty I was in for a big disguise. I had recently been living on my own with my best friend of about eight years and had recently started a full time job and was enrolled in school full time. I had been enjoying my summer and the comfort of being young and free. But by the end of the summer, I had became sick and I just figured I had caught a cold from my younger sister. A couple weeks later I woke up to the biggest shock of my life. I found out that I was pregnant, and what made the situation a little more shocking it was by an ex that I had no intention on spending my life with, or sharing a child with.

My first feeling was shock ! I thought I was going crazy and seeing things, so I had my roommate come and take a look at the test. Once reality hit me I broke down and began to cry. Not all just because I was upset, I was just feeling all types of emotions. I was upset at myself for being irresponsible, I was scared because I was not sure if I was ready to be a mother. I was nervous because growing up I was so selfish so I was worried I wouldn't be able to love enough. Was I honestly capable of taking care of a child ?I was honestly just overwhelmed in feelings that I just didn't know what to do with myself. But eventually I pulled myself together, cheered myself up and faced reality. I had to face the fact that I was bringing a child into the world and I had to do every and everything to make sure my child would have a wonderful life.

Every appointment I attended my feelings began to grow. When I first heard my sons heartbeat, I became so overwhelmed with love and from that point on nothing else matter. Within the next months, I was able to get an ultra sound and see that there was really someone living inside of me. But when he started moving, my heart felt with so much joy. It was just so comforting, a feeling you cannot explain unless you felt it. On April 10th 2011 at around 6:15pm my life changed for the better. Seeing and holding my son made everything a reality. Life became no more about me, but all about him. Any and everything I did,  I would always think how it would better our lives. Because of him, I became a more forgiving and motivated person. I returned back to school and got a better job to give him what he deserves. I learned to love in a way that I couldn't imagine. I just became a totally different person, in a better way. I believe it is true when people say a child is a blessing in disguise.

A thank you letter to my mentor.

I am writing this letter to thank for everything you have taught me in my life. Not to many can say they look up to their mother, but im glad I can. because of life lessons and words of wisdom,  I have became the person I am today. I just want you to know how special you are not to only me, but also to Jakai. Even though I tell you often I appreciate every single thing you do.

You made me realize many things in my life growing up. But the most important thing is realizing that I am stronger than I can ever imagine. Growing up I watched you go through several things that could make a person break. But the one thing you always did was pick up and continue where you left. You didn't ever quit or give up when things got hard. I've always admired your strength, and it has become a big part of the reason I am the person I am today. Watching how much positive energy time in effort you put in raising me and my brother has taught me to be the mother I am today. I will always love you for that.

 

Many times when I am doing things with my son I realize that I've become the mother to him, that you are with me. I put him first as you did with us and make sure I work to give him what he wants and needs. Often I watch you play with him and see the love you have for him and it brings me back so many sweet childhood memories. I also realize I have your strength. I've faced many situations since becoming a mom, some easy some hard. But I always remember you not letting anything get in your way, so I've become the same way. Not only do I look up to you, but I consider you my best friend. You've made me who I am today the good the bad the happy the sad, these are all the moments I experienced because of you and I wouldn't want it any other way. Thank you mom !

 

My mother

Thank you,

For wiping away tears when my heart was broken,

to holding my secrets that were swore to be unspoken.

For holding my hands when times would get rough,

and not leaving my side when times got tough.

For keeping a smile on your grandsons face,

and making sure he knows that with you hes safe.

For letting me know I can do anything I set my mind to,

and letting me know when things are hard ill make it through.

For answering the phone even though we talk about nothing,

to always showing up when you promised you was coming.

For keeping my spirits up whenever I feel down,

to telling your stupid jokes to wash away my frown

Thank you for making me feel like no other,

I just simply want to thank you for being my mother .

Who am i ?

Who am I ? My name is Sade Mendes. I am 24 years old and live in Lynn Mass. I've basically lived in this city for my whole life. I lived in Orlando Florida for about a yea, but decided to come back because I am very close with my older brothers and missed them a lot. I am the mother to a three year old boy who believes he is a superhero. And also have just became a step mother to an energetic three year old step daughter. I am very obsessed with anything that has to do with fall. Its basically my favorite time of the year. Carmel apples, anything pumpkin spice and cool weather keeps me sane !

I have many interest and hobbies. I grew up with two brothers so I've always taken an interest in sports. I enjoy playing basketball and having a son I enjoy playing with him. Another interest of mine is watching football. There's nothing like being on a couch in a comfy sweater watching the pats play ! Since becoming a mother and preschool teacher I have become very crafty. So on my spare time I also enjoy doing crafts with the children. Just being outside and enjoying the weather and taking walks is by all time my most favorite thing to do

 

My friends would describe me as dedicated. Since becoming a mother I have completely changed. Before I was a very selfish person now everything I do is all because of him. They would also say I'm quiet. many times when I am with them they always say I am quiet. And no its not because I am shy, its just because I like to sit back and observe people and their behaviors. My mother always says that I am loving. From raising my own child to coming into a relationship and taking on another child I have no reason to be anything but that. From taking care of a sick child to kissing booboos to just putting a smile on their face its a full time job and nothing is more important than making sure a child feels loved. My boyfriend describes me as stubborn. I have a hard time accepting peoples opinions on things even when I know they are right about things.

I feel the love of those who are not physically around me.

I know your watching over me I can
Feel you
Everyday.
Every second when Im feeling down, the thought of you
Lifts me back up.
The memories that we
Have I wont
Ever let them fade away.
Loosing you was the hardest thing , and I still deal with it each day.
Often I wish that we could've spent more time.
Visiting you is hard and makes the pain reappear.
Everyone misses you, we wish that you was here.
Often when im feeling down I think of you and smile,
For if we could only have one last minute
That would bring me so much joy.
Hoping that your looking down on my precious little boy.
Or are you near me keeping my spirit up high,
Sending me happiness when I feel I can almost cry .
Every now and then I have dreams and I can feel you near,
Arms wrapped around so tightly, then to wake up and
Realize you aren't really here.
Each day I miss you a little bit more,
Not a day goes by that I don't think of the times we had.
Only you could bring me out of some of my bad moods.
Today I've become a better person because of you,
Pictures of you still
Hang on my wall.
Your smile picks me up when Im ready to fall.
Stories you told me,
I will share with my son.
Calling you
And hearing your voice I always miss.
Leaving your house always started off with a hug and a kiss.
Laughing at your sarcastic jokes,
You had the best sense of humor.
Always kept a smile on my face no matter my mood, you
Really help me out more than you knew.
Our gatherings seem less quiet,
Unlike what were use to.
Now all I'm left with is memories that ill hold on forever.
Definitely  helps smile knowing you and gramps are together.
My heart will always have a spot that's taken up just by you.
Evenings before I close my eyes, I think of you and happiness is what I feel inside.

In memory of my nana.. I miss you so much