Theres so much meaning to life.. Just look a little deeper

Taking things for granted is something many of us do without even noticing until it is spoken up. I myself have come to realize that I was taking my boyfriend for granted. I have always wanted someone who would accept me flaws and all and when I finally got that, I had no clue what to do with it. My boyfriend is one of the most amazing men I have ever met. From him fighting and gaining full custody of his four year old daughter, to coming into a relationship with me and taking on my three year old son as if he was his own. I myself am a very complicated person, I am very emotional and stubborn. But no matter what my attitude is he doesn't ever turn his back on me. Im just not use to people being so nice to me, so when I get it I push you away without even realizing the harm that I am causing. Once he had informed me of the pain I have caused him by shutting myself off to him. I had to step back and realize, I have some one amazing here and I need to realize it before I loose it and regret it. They always say you don't know you have a good thing until its gone, but I know what I have and there is no way Im letting him go.

There are many things that I am so grateful for, for instance my family and having a healthy son ad even the fact that I have a roof over my head. Life is so important to me, and I tend to realize that they're are people around the world that are not able to have the things that I am blessed with so to me I am honestly thankful for everything. From my refrigerator being filled with food to being able to take a hot shower. Or even just coming home to sit on my couch in peace and quiet. Im also very thankful for my family, they are my rock. Growing up my mother always taught to me to just be grateful for the life we are given. Because there's always someone who is less fortunate, life is not measured by the things you have but by the moments and the people you spend them with. Im also to have a great-grandfather that is still living and healthy even at the age of 91. Hes such an important person to me. Ive also mentioned it a lot but im grateful for my little three year old son.

I believe that as a mother, I can step back and relax and just enjoy my child being a child. Instead of worrying about the mess he's making I should sometimes just relax and let him enjoy himself. Many time I find myself getting frustrated, but then there's days that I just sit and do whatever he wants me to do with him and the excitement in his face explains it all. A busy mom isn't a fun mom. I think a fun mother is someone who acts like a kid once in awhile an have fun with the children. The appreciate it more and those are the memories that they can look back on and ones we can always remember.

 

My son

Kissing your soft face

Reaching down to hold your hand

Best part of my day

 

Winter

Naked lonely trees

Freezing howling chilly breeze

Beautiful winter

 

Spring

Flowers are blooming

Weather is getting warmer

Spirits are higher

 

Rain

The day is darker

The sky is opening up

The rain is falling

 

Love

Your smile makes me warm

Your laughter keeps me happy

No greater feeling

 

 

Being a mom, is the best job there is

My weeks are always adventurous seeing that I am currently staying at home with two three year olds. My days consist of meltdowns spills and very highly anticipated naptimes. But there also joy, where I get random hugs big kisses on my foreheads and made up songs randomly sang to much. When I decided to take a break from home to raise my son and take on my three year old step daughter full time, I thought after awhile I would loose my mind. But I realized its so worth it.

Before I would wake up and rush my son to work, where I worked 8 hours so I wasn't really seeing him and was missing out a lot on special moments. Now I get woken up to kisses and morning cuddles. There's nothing like snuggling under a blanket with your little one tucked right under you. The beginning of this week we decided to just stay in our pjs all day watch cartoons and just relax. I can honestly say its so relaxing. Hearing kids run around just having fun with out a care in the world is just relaxing. No job to me could ever replace this. The second half of the week we had a few adventures. One day we enjoyed the haunted happenings in Salem, and another day we had lunch and spent FOUR hours just hanging at the park. Nothing like enjoying the day and having to rush no where. During the end of the week the kids enjoyed some lunch and shopping with me and my boyfriend. Its always nice to spoil them once in while. That's the whole point of being a parent.

The weekend was very busy for us. On Saturday night my sons dog got loose, we was all heartbroken. He got out at about seven at night and we searched until about ten but had no luck. So it was a long night and Sunday was a long day. By Monday morning my son refused to talk to me and was slamming doors telling me how mad he was. But with luck he was found. When we went to pick him up, my sons excited brought tears to my eyes watching him jump and scream "Charlie" and telling everyone its his dog just made my day better.

 

 

When I stop and notice and I cant help to watch the things you do,
like when you get excited to wear you blue shark boots.
Or your face when you walk in the Disney store,
and get to pick out your own new car toy.
The excitement in your face when you see me every morning
or when we just lay and bed and feel like being boring.
When I stop and notice I see the love you have for me,
your smile when we drive the car and sing our abcs.
The hugs you give me when im feeling sad,
and how you make you crazy faces whenever you know you make me mad.
Everyday is a new lesson taught,
being a mother is an excited job, even though its harder than I thought.
Little do you know you've changed my life,
You've came into my world and now everything just seems right.
Ive noticed the change you've brought out in me.
Such a positive person now and many people can see.
When I stop and notice, I see how much I need you,
you are the reason I want to do everything I do.
Ive come to notice each day I love you more and more.
Even though it sounds crazy its true.
When I stop and notice I realize I couldn't love anyone more than I do you.

A beautiful blessing in disguise

Growing up I had always said I didn't plan on having children until I was at least thirty, but once I hit twenty I was in for a big disguise. I had recently been living on my own with my best friend of about eight years and had recently started a full time job and was enrolled in school full time. I had been enjoying my summer and the comfort of being young and free. But by the end of the summer, I had became sick and I just figured I had caught a cold from my younger sister. A couple weeks later I woke up to the biggest shock of my life. I found out that I was pregnant, and what made the situation a little more shocking it was by an ex that I had no intention on spending my life with, or sharing a child with.

My first feeling was shock ! I thought I was going crazy and seeing things, so I had my roommate come and take a look at the test. Once reality hit me I broke down and began to cry. Not all just because I was upset, I was just feeling all types of emotions. I was upset at myself for being irresponsible, I was scared because I was not sure if I was ready to be a mother. I was nervous because growing up I was so selfish so I was worried I wouldn't be able to love enough. Was I honestly capable of taking care of a child ?I was honestly just overwhelmed in feelings that I just didn't know what to do with myself. But eventually I pulled myself together, cheered myself up and faced reality. I had to face the fact that I was bringing a child into the world and I had to do every and everything to make sure my child would have a wonderful life.

Every appointment I attended my feelings began to grow. When I first heard my sons heartbeat, I became so overwhelmed with love and from that point on nothing else matter. Within the next months, I was able to get an ultra sound and see that there was really someone living inside of me. But when he started moving, my heart felt with so much joy. It was just so comforting, a feeling you cannot explain unless you felt it. On April 10th 2011 at around 6:15pm my life changed for the better. Seeing and holding my son made everything a reality. Life became no more about me, but all about him. Any and everything I did,  I would always think how it would better our lives. Because of him, I became a more forgiving and motivated person. I returned back to school and got a better job to give him what he deserves. I learned to love in a way that I couldn't imagine. I just became a totally different person, in a better way. I believe it is true when people say a child is a blessing in disguise.